Losing the Spark
by Doccubus
Summary: It's 18 years after the end of the series, and Doug and Carrie's family friends think they're losing their spark, so they team up to spark up their marriage. LEMONS AHEAD!


**AN: This is totally not my fandom, I usually write for Dragonball Z and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I love The King of Queens and I was disappointed to see only 15 stories, most of which are parodies -_- I thought, hey why don't I write a good legit story as if the show were continuing on, no parodies. I tried to keep the characters as exact as possible, I have no idea if anyone will even read this but let me know how I did. For those of you who've never read my stuff before I tend to get very explicit so if your under 18 don't read it, and if you don't like it please don't report me. That being said, I do not own King of Queens or any of its characters so don't sue the broke girl cause you won't get anything out of it.**

"Do you think Carrie will like this?" Doug said lifting up a bright gold blouse.

Deacon made a face. "When have you ever seen Carrie wear something like that?"

Doug sighed in frustration. "28 years married to the same woman, and I still can't get her a good gift."

"Well have no fear my friend, I got the perfect solution," Deacon said. "Hey Kirbs over here!"

"Oh Kirby's visiting?" Doug said with a smile, "I didn't even know."

"He just arrived today, NYU just let out for the Summer, we wanna surprise Kelly and Major," Deacon said.

"Hey dad!" Kirby said excitedly running up to him. He was as tall as Deacon, and very lean even though he was studying to be a professional ballet dancer.

"Hey son!" Deacon cried pulling Kirby into a firm hug.

"I've missed you dad."

"I've missed you too son. Kel is gonna flip when she sees you."

"I'm excited to see her too," Kirby said pulling away from the hug. "Uncle Doug hey!"

"Kirbster, my man!" Doug yelled in his typical loud voice hugging the much taller young man tightly.

"It's good to see you Uncle Doug," Kirby said.

"Kirb, you got here in the perfect moment, we're shopping for Carrie's birthday gift and Doug here needs some help," Deacon said. "I can just get her a 'Best Mom Ever' mug and she'll be happy, I know Kelly will get her something great. But Doug has no such luck."

"Oh great, well I've spent most of my teenage years going on shopping sprees with Aunt Carrie, mom, and Ming-Mei," Kirby said excitedly. "I know exactly what her style is."

Deacon grinned proudly. He had accepted the fact that his son was gay long ago and was actually proud of his openness. Kirby never restrained himself but he remained very masculine and most people would never guess he was gay.

"Okay," Doug said lifting the gold shirt with his signature pout, "this shirt..."

"Good God no," Kirby breathed.

"Yeah Doug is bad at this crap," Deacon commented.

"I know, remember what he got me for my last birthday?" Kirby said.

"Hey who doesn't like hot wheels?" Doug said.

"Even when I was little I barely liked them Uncle Doug, but I was turning 24."

"Hey, I was loving my hot wheels at 24!"

"Doug, you'll love hot wheels now," Deacon said.

"Alright, let's get the Hell out of here," Kirby said. "Aunt Carrie would never shop here. How much money can you spend?"

"Well with Carrie being a senior partner at Dugan and me being the top salesman at my firm, I can really splurge."

Kriby grinned. "Prada here we come."

"Mrs. Heffernan?"

Carrie glanced up from her papers and said, "oh hey Sam, come on in."

The young woman came into the office and sat down across the desk. "I've sent all the paperwork to Mr. Dugan."

"What did he say?" Carrie said with a grin.

"He loved it like always Mrs. Heffernan, I'm thinking a raise is in your future."

"If I get that raise a raise is in your future too," Carrie said with a pleasant smile.

"You would really do that?"

"I was a secretary for the majority of my career and I was never validated until I took over Cooper's big project and nailed it."

"I appreciate it so much Mrs. Heffernan."

"Call me Carrie."

Sam nodded and smiled. She stood up and handed Carrie an envelope. "I'll see you tomorrow Mrs...um, Carrie, and, uh, Happy Birthday."

Carrie took the envelop and smiled a bit bitterly. "That's sweet of you Sam, but 50 is not a good milestone to reach."

"Hey, you may be 50 today, but you don't look a day over 30," Sam said.

"You don't have to flatter me Sam I already like you," Carrie said sarcastically.

Sam smiled as she walked to the door and said, "I wasn't trying to flatter you. Have a nice birthday."

Carrie shook her head unenthusiastically then grabbed her purse. She read the card as she walked through the office to the elevator. When she walked into the elevator there was an elderly Indian man standing there in a suit.

"Good evening madam," he said in a deep voice.

"Uh hi," Carrie said.

"I am Sanj, your driver for the night," he said with a respectful bow.

"What?" Carrie said scrunching up her nose.

"It's a birthday gift from your husband Doug."

Carrie sighed and smiled, "aw that is so sweet!"

"Right this way ma'am," Sanj said as the elevator doors opened on the bottom floor.

Carrie grinned happily and followed the man to the Hummer limo. She smiled as Sanj opened the door for her and she climbed into the car.

Sitting there was a smiling Doug wearing a suit.

"Doug, what did you do here baby? I thought we agreed not to celebrate my birthday this year?" Carrie said even though she couldn't wipe the smile off her face.

Doug smiled and said, "I know, but to see that smile on your face..."

"Oh Doug," Carrie cried leaning forward and hugging him.

"I love you so much Care, we've had a rough 28 years and every year we get together is something to worship," Doug said.

"That's so sweet Doug," Carrie said caressing Doug's head and giving him a kiss on the lips.

"Sanj, first stop please," Doug said.

"First stop? Where we goin'?"

"You'll have to wait and see."

"Hey Ming-Mei, hey Jason," Major said walking into the house holding a gift bag. He was still in his IPS uniform and he looked tired.

"Major!" Jason said happily, "so will your dad give me a job at IPS when I turn 18?"

"Look I know my dad is the head supervisor there now, but I am pretty sure your parents want you to go to college," Major said. "Your parents can afford to send both of you to college and I'm sure they don't want you to work at IPS. I mean my parents set up a college fund for me and Kirb but it wasn't enough. If Kirb wouldn't have gotten that scholarship he'd be working part-time to pay for college too."

"I want to work because I don't wanna live off my parents forever, I'm 17 years old and I haven't done a damn thing for myself," Jason said.

"Jason, you gotta let this go," Ming-Mei said. "Mom and dad worked their asses off to pay off the house and give us a good education. They will not be happy about this."

Jason grumbled. "Little dude, let it go," Major said with a laugh, "you don't wanna piss off Aunt Carrie."

Ming-Mei snorted. "Yeah you have never truly seen my mom angry, she's like the Hulk."

Jason laughed and said, "even dad is scared of her."

"Yo Jay, everyone is scared of her," Major said.

"Alright be nice," Ming-Mei said, "it's her birthday today and they're gonna be home in a few hours."

"Mom, dad, and Kirby will be here soon, they went out to dinner," Major said, "I was working late so I couldn't go."

"Then you can help us clean up," Ming-Mei said with a grin.

"No need for that," Jason said smirking, "I called Uncle Spence, he'll clean this place right up. Uncle Danny is bringing the alcohol."

"You are just like your mother when you do that," Major said.

"Do what?"

"The smirk," Ming-Mei said, "it's a Carrie Heffernan signature."

"Yeah, whenever she gets away with something," Major said.

The door bell rang and Jason ran to get it saying, "that's probably Uncle Spence and Uncle Danny."

He opened the door and the two forementioned men were standing there holding hands and smiling. It had taken them 7 more years as roommates to realize they were in love and 2 more years after that to actually do something about it. They were the happiest anyone had ever seen them.

Danny stepped into the house first lifting up a 6 pack of beer. "I come bearing gifts and I have more in the car. Major are you 21 yet?"

"Just turned."

"Come help me get the liquor," Danny said.

"Where do I start the cleaning?" Spence said waving his feather duster.

"The living room, then the kitchen, that's all that really needs work," Jason said.

"Thanks so much for helping us Uncle Spence," Ming-Mei said.

"Of course darling, that's what uncles are for."

"Is this all of it?" Major said lugging in a large keg. He was the bulkiest and tallest of all the Palmer men. He was incredibly strong and it seemed more so when Danny walked in-more than a foot shorter-carrying another six pack and a bottle of wine.

"A keg? Jesus Danny it's not a frat party!" Spence cried.

"I didn't know what they wanted!" Danny said flushing bright red.

Major set it down and said, "what can I help out with?"

"Jason, Danny, we'll get the cleaning done," Spence said, "Major you can help Ming-Mei with the h'oerdourves, last time you tried to clean something you started breaking things."

"And that's the number one way to piss off my mom," Ming-Mei said.

Danny looked terrified. "No one wants that. Remember when Doug framed me for that terrible picture?"

Spence laughed. "Yeah Carrie tore you a new one."

"Wait I wanna hear this story now!" Jason cried.

"Don't think so buddy, let's get to work," Spence said.

"Come on Major, help me put out the chips," Ming-Mei said, "my dad flips if he doesn't have his Doritos."

"I thought it was beef jerky," Major said.

"That too."

"Hey so how's Peter?" Ming-Mei asked Major as they walked into the kitchen. "His vow renewal last month with Kate was awesome. Thanks for taking me."

"Thanks for being my date," Major said. "I was one of the only other IPS guys he invited."

"Man, 27 years for them, that's almost as long as my parents," Ming-Mei said.

"Unfortunately that's not going too good," Major said.

"What? Whaddya mean?"

"They're getting divorced."

"What! But they just renewed their vows!"

"Peter told me at work that they lost their spark," Major said. "First it was just a rut. The same thing over and over again. They would peck each other mutter out 'love ya' then go their separate ways. The passion and flame was gone. Then it was arguing about every little thing to the point of screaming. Then it was the big gestures to try to resuscitate the spark. The vow renewal was the last attempt."

"That's terrible," Ming-Mei said her brow crunching up. Suddenly she started crying.

Major flinched and rushed to her side. "Whoa, whoa, little mama, what's with the tears? I didn't know you cared about Peter so much you just met him once."

"It's not about Peter," Ming-Mei said. "It's about my parents. Don't you see? They're on the same track!"

"What? Ming, that's crazy, your parents love each other so much."

"Major, they've been in a rut since before we were even born, they fight about everything to the point of screaming even about the smallest things like forgetting to replace the frosted donuts, and now look at this craziness dad set up for mom? It's the big gesture!"

Major's brow furrowed.

"I don't want my parents to get divorced Major."

"Shh, don't cry little mama, everything will be okay," Major said.

"We have to save my parents' marriage!"

"Ming, you don't even know if their marriage is in trouble, maybe they're happy with their rut and arguing, you don't know if they lost their spark," Major said caressing her chin.

"I'm not taking that risk," Ming-Mei said. "I was raised by friggin Carrie Heffernan, no one has more street smarts than her."

"Uh oh, I smell one of your evil plans brewing."

"Oh yeah and you're gonna help me."

"The airport?" Carrie said questioningly.

Doug grinned. "Carrie, Carrie, in all these years you haven't changed a bit. Always wanna be in control."

Carrie shrugged and grinned. "What can I say Dougie, it's the way I am."

"And I love you for it, but this time give me the power."

"Alright, just this once," Carrie said with a wink.

The door opened and Sanj stood there saying "go ahead in sir."

Carrie gasped when no other than Arthur Spooner got into the limo. "Daddy!" She cried.

"Carrie! My little girl!" Arthur cried whole-heartedly pulling his thin daughter into a firm hug.

"Aw Doug you flew him in from Jersey?" Carrie said.

"Had your Uncle Chester drop him off this morning," Doug said.

"GIVE THIS MAN A SILVER DOLLAR!" Arthur bellowed loudly.

"Yeeep we missed ya Arthur," Doug said sarcastically.

"I missed you so much Dad, it's so weird only seeing you on holidays since you moved in with Uncle Chester."

"I know, I've missed you kids terribly as well," Arthur said, "even my dingy little basement."

"Hey that's Jason's room now," Doug said with a laugh.

"Then I gather you put insulation down there?"

"Of course, we don't want our son to freeze to death," Carrie said.

Arthur gave her a death glare.

"Alright easy old man, you're living with your best friend in a paid for giant house with hot nurses and a lot of money to spend, don't go complaining now," Doug said.

"You're right, I GOT IT GOOD!"

Carrie rubbed her ear and laughed. "Yeah we always know when you're here dad."

"Anyways, happy birthday sweetheart," Arthur said. "You're gift is in my pack, I'll give it to you later."

"You're gift enough dad, you didn't have to get me anything."

"But I did," Doug said, "it's something for you to wear for our next stop." He handed her a gift box. "Go ahead open it."

Carrie opened the box and gasped when she saw a gorgeous red Prada dress. "Oh my God, the newest model! Doug how did you know I wanted this? Did you hear me talking to Kelly on the phone about it?"

"Uhh, yeah sure!"

"That is so sweet and considerate baby," Carrie said kissing Doug on the lips.

"HEY ENOUGH OF THAT NOW!" Arthur hollered.

"Alrighty and that's done," Doug muttered sitting back.

"You even got my size right!" Carrie exclaimed.

"Eh went through your closet, checked the sizes of the other dresses," Doug said with a grunt that said 'oh yeah I'm the bad ass that put a lot of effort into this.'

Carrie grinned proudly.

"Here, Arthur let's go to the other part of the limo and raise the black glass so Carrie can try on her new dress," Doug said.

"Right'o!"

"Ooo great!" Carrie cried.

After a nice, though tasseled, dinner, because of Arthur's antics, at Carrie's favorite restaurant, the trio arrived home to a driveway full of cars. Carrie looked at the cars excitedly figuring out who was there.

"There's Deacon and Kelly," she murmured, "Danny and Spence, Holly and Brit-can you believe she turned out to be gay? After all those bad boys, she even had a baby for God sake."

"Brit is super hot though, Holly landed herself a good one," Doug said.

"Okay big boy you don't get to sit next to Brit at all today," Carrie said. "Man I just realized, we are surrounded by a lot of gay people."

"Nothing wrong with that," Doug said.

"Hey what's that red car? I don't recognize it," Carrie said. "That's the only one I don't, I recognize Ritchie's, Steph's, and Ray's. You invited the Ray? He's your friend!"

"But Debra is yours, they both came," Doug said.

"Oh, alright, I love Debra she's great. Seriously though, who's car is that?"

"That's your next surprise," Doug said as Sanj opened the car door for them.

"HAH!" Arthur bellowed getting out of the car, "thanks Sanjay, you are the mold holding American society together."

"Uh it's Sanj."

"Ranjeeb?"

"Sanj."

"Fido?"

"SANJ!"

"For God sake Arthur leave the man alone," Doug said pushing Arthur along. "Thanks for everything Sanj."

Sanj took his tip money and said, "have a nice night sir."

Doug grabbed Arthur's suitcase, helped Carrie out of the car then hand in hand walked to the door. Carrie was buzzing with excitement for her next surprise.

The door opened before they got there and Jason jumped out happily. He was a splitting image of his father, but with hair and quirks of his mother. "Grandpa!"

"JASON MY BOY!" Arthur screeched.

Jason hugged Arthur then moved on to his parents. He hugged Doug in a manly manner then hugged Carrie. He was a head taller than both of them, and buff from going to the gym with Major, so Carrie's tiny frame was nearly crushed by Jason's, but Jason was always very gentle with her.

"Happy birthday mom," he said giving her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Aw thanks baby," Carrie said.

"MY THIRD WORLD PRINCESS!"

Carrie sighed, "I told him not to call Ming that, I don't want her to feel like an outcast."

"Arthur don't call Ming that!" Doug yelled.

"DON'T TELL ME!"

Doug sighed. "I'll go deal with that, Jason take your mom inside for her last surprise."

"This one is from Ming and me ma," Jason said happily.

"Let's take her in together," Ming-Mei said running out the door. "Hey mom, happy birthday."

"Thanks baby," Carrie said as Ming-Mei hugged her tightly. Ming-Mei was short and petite, it wasn't so bad from Carrie's perspective but when she was next to Deacon, Kirby, or Major Ming-Mei looked like a midget.

"Come on!" Jason said excitedly.

Carrie let her children guide her into the house. The first thing she saw was all her friends lined up around the living room. Doug and Arthur were first, then Ray and Debra, then Danny and Spence, then Holly and Brit and Holly's daughter whom they raised together, Carol, then Deacon and Kelly and their youngest daughter Ashley who was 10, then Steph and her husband Mike, Ritchie and his girlfriend Carmen, Major, and Kirby.

"Ready for your surprise ma?" Ming-Mei said.

"Born ready!" Carrie said with her little laugh.

Holly and Brit broke the little circle by parting and through the hole emerged Sara Spooner.

"Sara!" Carrie screeched running to her sister and hugging her.

"Carrie I've missed you so much!"

"How dare you leave to California and don't visit or even call for over 20 years!" Carrie cried.

"Hollywood's a tough business, I couldn't get away," Sara said. "I do finally have a movie deal and I have some paid vacation, who better to visit than my beautiful older sister. So I took my car that I got from my 2nd divorce and drove over here."

"Right who better!" Carrie said. "Thank you all for coming."

Spence raised his wine glass and said, "to Carrie, may you have many many more happy birthdays!"

"Here here!"

"Ma, can I have a glass to toast you?" Jason said.

"Ohh Jason," Ming-Mei breathed.

"Jase my boy you never learn," Doug whispered.

Carrie gave him a death glare. "How old are you?"

"Uh..."

"Uh oh," Deacon squeaked.

"Tell me, how old are you?"

"17."

"How old do you have to be to drink?"

"21."

"Go get a juicebox," Carrie said, "and Doug don't you dare sneak him a beer like a last time."

Doug chuckled and shrugged. "Alright everyone mingle!"

The party broke out with people mingling and walking around.

Ming-Mei smirked mischievously at Major who nodded and followed her into the kitchen.

"Ming you sure you wanna do this?"

"Major this is a full proof plan, I have everything set and even hired all the people I needed to pull this off," Ming-Mei said.

"Babe this is crazy this might ruin your parents' marriage and they didn't have a problem."

"It won't, there's not a single way that can happen it can only bring them closer together."

"Alright and you sure your dad won't murder me?"

Ming-Mei laughed. "Mom won't let him don't worry."

"Ready?" Jason said poking his head through the door.

"Yes," Ming-Mei said.

"He's in on it too?" Major said.

"And Kirby too, he's gonna get your parents on board with my plan too," Ming-Mei said.

"You crazy woman."

"Go, Jason is opening the kitchen window thing, still don't know what that's called."

Major stepped forward, wrapped his arms around Ming-Mei's waist and pulled her in for a kiss. Ming-Mei's hands went into Major's hair and one of her legs around his hip.

"Son of a bitch! What's going on in there!" Carrie yelled.

"Hey! Hands off!" Doug growled.

"Major what are you doing?" Deacon cried.

"Crap I better get him before Doug kills him," Kelly cried running into the kitchen.

"Whoa, whoa big boy no killing our friends' kids just yet," Carrie said blocking Doug's path.

"So sorry about this," Deacon said. "Major, get your butt over here boy!"

"Alright you two break it up," Kelly said pushing Major and Ming-Mei apart. They stared at each other intensely for a minute before they went back into the plan.

"See you later babe," Ming-Mei cooed seductively as Major smiled and winked then ran out through the back door.

"Daaamn," Kirby muttered, "Ming is good at this stuff."

"How do you think we got away with crap as kids?" Jason said. "You ready for your part in the plan?"

"Oh yeah, Uncle Doug won't know what hit him," Kirby said. "You?"

"Yeah, my mom won't know what hit her."

"Doug, baby are you okay?" Carrie said.

Doug just stayed still on the bed. "Carrie, I never wanted to see my daughter like that."

"I know babe, but you knew she was gonna get a man sooner or later, she's been on dates before, and now she's 18 she's bound to date men."

"I can't handle men, I can handle nerdy boys all of which I grilled intensely."

"I know babe," Carrie said. " I grilled them too."

"Yeah you're the one who scared them."

"So let's not treat Major any different just because he's our best friends' son," Carrie said. "We'll work together. I'll scare the crap out of him and see if he cares about Ming enough to stay anyways. You get in with Kirby and Deacon, try to find out Major's intentions."

"You always come up with the best plans," Doug said with a smile.

"I's what I do," Carrie said. "Thanks for an amazing birthday baby."

Doug pulled her in and laid her on top of him. She was as slender as the first time they met and fit perfectly in his arms. She snuggled against his chest and said, "Doug I love you."

"I love you too Care," Doug said. "Wanna sleep like this?"

"Mm, with my snuggly bear, yeah!"

"Night babe."

"This is wrong Ming," Jason whispered outside the door.

"Shh, they're going to sleep now."

"We're listening outside their door to see if they have sex," Jason said, "that's all kinds of wrong."

"Jason these walls are thin, we spent a lot of our childhood listening to their...noises," Ming-Mei said, "it doesn't bother me anymore."

"I didn't hear anything from the basement, thank God," Jason said making a face.

"The point is it's been years since I've heard anything, I figured they only did on birthdays and anniversaries, but look they just went to sleep."

"Maybe cause you pissed them off by kissing Major, which you totally enjoyed by the way."

"I did not."

"Ming, you were so into it I thought you might have forgotten the plan."

"Anyways that doesn't matter," Ming-Mei said, "that display brought them together, they just said they love each other so much that's an intimate moment and then they just go to sleep."

Jason chewed his lip worriedly.

"Don't worry I know your part and Kirby's part in the plan will give them the push they need."

When Kirby walked into Doug's large office the next morning Doug was surprised and glad.

"Hey Kirbs how are ya buddy?"

"I'm good Uncle Doug, just wanted to visit the best godfather in the world."

"Hmm, you want something don't you?"

"I need a little help," Kirby said sitting down across from Doug.

"Anything."

"I'm auditioning to be the main male dancer in the L.A ballet theatre, but my core is a bit out of shape," Kirby said. "I need your help getting in shape again."

Doug looked down at his belly then up at Kirby, "you sure I'm the right guy for the job."

"There couldn't be a better person for the job," Kirby said. "By encouraging you to work out harder and tone your body, I'll be doing so myself. My need to help you will stop me from becoming lazy."

Doug nodded impressed. "I've tried working out before, and I...well look at me."

"Trust me, it'll work with me," Kirby said. "So you'll help me Uncle Doug?"

Doug grinned and said, "of course."

"Ming I'm not sure about this," Jason said nervously on the phone.

"Jason trust me."

"This could hurt our parents' marriage."

"It won't, dad does all this stuff to protect mom from other men, he gets so jealous, but mom doesn't do any of that. This is a chance to get her to fight for her man, that builds passion."

"You're taking a big ass risk here Ming," Jason said.

"No I'm not, are you forgetting how Brooklyn our mother is?"

Jason laughed. "Alright, this will be interesting."

"Just stick around, make sure she doesn't kill the actress I hired."

"Got it." Jason hung up and looked at the actress next to him. She was a drop dead gorgeous 6 foot model with long brown hair and stunning green eyes.

"Alright, go ahead in," Jason said leading her into the living room where Carrie was sitting on the couch working from home since Arthur and Sara were visiting. "Hey mom this lady wants to see you."

Carrie looked up from her papers, set them down on the table, took off her glasses, and stood up. "Hi."

"Hi, I'm Morgan Hart, are you Carrie Heffernan?"

"Yes, what can I do for ya?"

"I'll leave you two alone," Jason said walking into the kitchen.

"I need to talk to you about your husband Doug," Morgan said with a hardened look.

Feeling threatened Carrie stood up more straight. "What about?"

"A few weeks ago, he and his friends were at Coopers I was their waitress," Morgan said.

"I remember that, for Danny's birthday," Carrie said. "They all ended up all over my living room stinking drunk. Did they do something? They forgot to pay?"

"No, nothing like that," Morgan said, "throughout the night as they got drunk, they started dancing around the bar groping people."

"Idiots," Carrie muttered.

"Well your husband groped me in one of those."

"What? Crap!"

"Don't worry I'm not gonna sue or anything," Morgan said. "I liked it actually."

Carrie's eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?"

"Oh yeah I like myself a big boy and Dougie is...mm," Morgan moaned. "I would have taken him in a bathroom stall and he would have participated if it wasn't because of his black friend Deacon. Point is I'm here to finish what I started, I don't give a damn about his...attachments, I want him and I always get what I want."

"Okay bitch," Carrie said taking off her earrings.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Jason breathed running out into the living room.

"You get near my man and I'll fuckin' kill you!" Carrie yelled lunging at her. Jason grabbed her right on time right by the waist and pulled her back.

"Whoa! Whoa mom!"

"Think I'm scared of you? You're trash and I'm class and Doug will choose me."

Carrie thrashed against Jason's arms like a mad woman. "Get this bitch out of my house!"

"Okay, okay calm down, I'll get her out," Jason said.

"Do it before I kill her!" Carrie yelled.

Morgan just smirked. Jason moved quickly releasing Carrie and guiding Morgan out.

"Good job, thanks," Jason whispered.

"Oh you think I'm done?"

"I can't believe I'm helping with this ridiculous plan," Deacon said.

"Look Deacon," Kelly said, "Ming is right about this. We've gone out with Doug and Carrie every weekend for years and they used to always hold hands and kiss. Now they barely even look at each other."

Deacon sighed. "I wanna help them too, but this is crazy Kelly, I..."

"Deacon," Kelly interrupted, "what they're missing is some passion and no one knows passion more than us."

"So we have to help them how exactly?" Deacon said.

"I'm going over to Holly's right now to get her on board," Kelly said. "Who knows more about what pleases a woman than a lesbian? You go to the gym with Kirby and Doug and give him some tips about stamina and endurance, we both know you're good at that."

Deacon grinned proudly.

"I'll talk to Holly then have her give him tips for all the...you know female pleasure things."

"I can do that too," Deacon said.

"Deacon honey, when's the last time we had some foreplay?"

"Okay, talk to Holly."

"So Major, you're dating Ming for reals?" Jason asked leaning back in his chair.

"We've gone out before but it was just as friends, but after that kiss, I can't stop thinking about her man," Major said.

"Ming said yes?"

"Yeah baby, don't you know?" Major said. "Once you go black..."

"That's getting old, sometimes vanilla is awesome too."

"Then why don't you have a cool catch phrase?"

"Cause there's no cool white people."

"Hey guys," Ming-Mei said sitting down next to them.

"Hey Ming," Major said with a grin. Ming-Mei gave him a peck on the lips then turned to Jason.

"How'd it go with Morgan?"

"Dude, mom almost killed her!"

"Oh shit for real? Chick fight status?" Major said.

"Major, my mom ain't no chick."

Major snorted. "I once saw her beat up your dad when he was dressed like a clown."

"We heard that story," Ming-Mei said, "he scared you with a monster-lobster story."

"I was like 5 and very impressionable."

"You should hear the stories he told us," Jason said.

"Mom kicked his ass all the time."

"That's all passion right there," Major said.

"Man, I want her to kick his ass again," Jason said.

"Me too," Ming-Mei said, "me too."

"Man," Doug breathed wiping the sweat off his brow, "Kirby is kicking my ass here, I don't think I can do this gym thing."

"You gotta hang in there man," Deacon said. "You know what this can help?"

"What?"

"Sex," Deacon said.

Doug snorted.

Deacon sat beside him. "How long has it been man? Talk to me."

"Seven years."

"Daaamn!"

"It's not that I don't want to," Doug said. "I love my wife and she looks sexier everyday but things never line up. Either she's tired or I'm tired. Or there's a business trip, or someone's sick. At some point we stopped trying to sneak in quickies and just settled for snuggling and light kissing."

"Doug, my man, you can't let that happen," Deacon said. "Passion is so important to a relationship. Maybe you're happy with this arrangement, but maybe Carrie is not, and if she doesn't get it from you she might..."

"Okay I'm gonna stop ya right there," Doug said lifting up his palm. "First of all there is no way Carrie would ever cheat on me, EVER. And second, you think I like this arrangement? I am dying to have sex with her."

"Then go for it player! You can't stop trying! Your kids are grown now, you guys are your own bosses at work, eventually you'll both be in the same place."

Doug stood up encouraged. "Yeah! I'm gonna do it."

"But first I'm gonna give you some tips."

"Tips?"

"Don't you wanna last all night?" Deacon said.

Doug cocked an eyebrow in intrigue.

"Do you remember the trip to apple country?"

"Alright I'm listening."

"First off, you wanna last you need an absolute turn off that can slow you down," Deacon said.

"How long do I have to hold it back?" Doug said.

"Until she...until she's, uh...done," Deacon said.

"But she fakes a lot, how do I know she's finished?"

"You gotta, feel for it."

"Feel for it? What the Hell does that mean?"

"It's like a pulsing, it feels...uh snug, as if she's pulling you into her."

"I've felt that a few times but I was really focused on her those times."

"That's the point, you always gotta be focused on her!"

Doug was walking out of the gym when a red convertible drove up next to him. It was Holly, Brit, and Kelly.

"Hey ladies!" Doug said cheerfully.

"Hey Doug, wanna join us for lunch?" Kelly said.

"Aren't you having a girls day?" Doug said with a laugh.

"Since when do you consider me a girl?" Brit said huskily patting the steering wheel.

"Come on Doug, we're having prime rib at Arby's," Holly said with a grin.

Doug grinned widely. "Ribs plus Arby's equals me!"

"Hop in!" Kelly said patting the back seat next to her.

Doug jumped in the back of the car happily and said, "let's go!"

They arrived at Arby's a few minutes later and Doug ordered right away. "A rack of ribs for everyone."

"Actually I can't eat a whole rack," Holly said.

"I beg to differ," Brit said with a dirty grin.

Doug laughed so hard he started coughing. Kelly chuckled too and said, "I can't eat one either, Hol you wanna share?"

"Great!"

"How about you Brit? Can you eat the whole..." Doug snorted. "Rack."

Brit smirked. "You know it."

"Alright make it three racks of ribs."

"Let's get that booth," Kelly said, "we wanna talk to you anyways Doug."

"Ahh, I knew there was an ulterior motive, but I get ribs out of it so it's cool."

"Deacon called me and told me what you were talking about," Kelly said as they sat down.

"What!" Doug cried.

"Seven years?" Kelly said.

"Aww man!" Doug cried.

"Man your balls must be dark blue," Brit said.

"Ribs are not worth this," Doug said moving to stand up.

"Now hang on Doug," Holly said. "We wanna help you."

"Help me how?"

"Doug, we're lesbians, you know someone else who knows women like we do?" Holly said.

"And I'm here to make sure you can't run away," Kelly said.

"Oh God," Doug said.

"Here's the deal Dougie," Brit said briskly, "if you wanna please a woman you have to spend a good two hours on foreplay."

"Two hours?" Doug cried.

"Yes! Don't you see Doug, the foreplay is how get all the orgasms out," Holly said.

"Then you can get your pleasure and last 10 seconds, she'll already be satisfied," Kelly said.

"10 seconds? Did Carrie say that?" Doug cried.

"I'm exaggerating," Kelly stammered.

"Oh God."

"Doug, don't fret," Holly said. "That's why we're here."

"Let's start with the basics," Brit said. "There are three levels of foreplay: Startup, Building, and Explosion."

"For reals?" Kelly laughed.

"Brit likes to make up bullshit words," Holly said.

"Startup is the simple nipple play," Brit said.

"Okay..."

"Doug, no! Don't you dare try to leave," Kelly said firmly.

"No wonder Deacon's scared of you."

"You can use fingers or mouth," Brit said.

"You just have no shame!" Doug cried.

"Take it like a man you wuss," Brit said.

"Okay, okay no fighting," Holly said. "Doug just take the advice and shut up."

"Fine," Doug said.

"Be as explicit as possible, maybe Deacon can get better," Kelly said.

"I didn't think that was possible!" Doug cried.

"It probably isn't."

"Hey Sara, hey Arthur," Doug said walking into the house and setting his briefcase down.

"DOUGLAS!" Arthur hollered with a wave.

"Hey Doug," Sara said with a grin. "Too bad you couldn't join us for lunch, Carrie took us to this amazing Vegan place in Manhattan."

Doug gave her a deadpan look, put his hand over his mouth, and made his famous obnoxious farting noise.

Sara giggled. "I'm guessing that's not your cup of tea."

"Definitely, I had a rack of ribs for lunch."

"Ribs, that sounds amazing!"

"At Arby's."

"Dad you wanna go?" Sara said.

"Of course darling."

"Don't let him have spicy food, I'm the one who has to clean that up," Doug said.

"Got it."

"I'M NOT A CHILD!"

"Come on Dad, if you behave I'll buy you icecream after."

"Chocolate swirl?" Arthur squeaked.

"Of course."

"Hey where's Carrie?" Doug asked.

"Taking a bath I think, who wouldn't in that awesome Jacuzzi tub you have up there," Sara said.

"We saved up for that," Doug said. "You two have a nice dinner."

"Let's go, I'll drive," Arthur said walking to the door.

"How bout you ride shotgun daddy," Sara said following him out.

"Right'o!"

Doug shook his head with a chuckle. "Ming-Mei? Jason?"

There was no response.

"Probably hanging out with friends," Doug muttered walking up the stairs. As he walked to the bathroom he thought about his conversation with Deacon, and with Kelly, Holly, and Brit.

"Hmm," he thought to himself taking off his shirt. "Carrie's already naked in the bathtub, we have the house to ourselves, and after that conversation at Arby's plus those amazing ribs I will have no problem getting it up. I think that's the signal to get rid of this seven year drought."

He stepped into the bathroom quietly, using his secret copy of the key to get in then took off the rest of his clothes off. He walked to the bathtub and opened the curtains.

Carrie jumped with a little squeak. "Damn it Doug I told you not to use that copy of your key you scared the crap out of me!"

"Now if I ask 'mind if I join you' you might say yes and kick my ass," Doug said timidly.

Carrie looked surprised. "You wanna get in here with me? We haven't done that in...years."

"May I?" Doug said. Seeing Carrie naked made him hard almost instantly, and Carrie's eyes went straight to it.

"Hello there," Carrie said seductively to his member, "haven't seen you in a while." She touched it softly then give the head a small kiss.

"Jesus," Doug breathed. Thinking of Deacon's advice he thought of the most unpleasant thing which was the one time he walked in on Danny and Spence making out in the bathroom at Coopers.

"Come on in," Carrie said scooting forward in the tub. "And I'm not just talking about the tub."

Doug chuckled and got into the tub behind Carrie. Carrie started to turn around but Doug stopped her.

"What are you do...ooo," Carrie moaned as Doug's hands rubbed her breasts slowly. "Ohhkay, foreplay. That's been an even longer while."

Doug took his time pulling and twisting the hard nipples until Carrie was breathing hard and writhing desperately.

"Jesus Doug," Carrie said in a harsh whisper. Doug's hands slid down Carrie's flat stomach down to her thighs. He put his hands on her inner thighs and spread her legs out wide.

"Ahh," Carrie moaned arching back, "I'm the one that's gonna cum early this time."

Doug slowly slipped one finger deep into Carrie. Carrie cried out and gripped the bathtub edge.

'Hard but slow,' Doug thought to himself as Carrie writhed against him. He moved his finger slowly in and out drawing out Carrie's moans.

He just kept going slow until Carrie started grinding against his hand. "Doug if you keep teasing me I'm gonna have to kill you."

"Right," Doug said. He kept the motion slow but started pumping in and out so hard water was sloshing out of the tub.

"Ohhh shit!" Carrie cried reaching behind her and grabbing Doug's neck.

Doug added in a second finger and kept the speed and intensity.

"Ahh shit I'm gonna...ohh God!"

'Don't speed up unless she asks you to,' Doug thought to himself as he was tempted. Luckily Carrie felt his anxiety and breathed out, "faster, faster."

Doug obliged happily and it was the push Carrie needed. She cried out, her back arching up, and her body trembling. Doug didn't slow down. He kept his pace waiting for the pulse Deacon was talking about, and when he felt it he couldn't help but smile.

"Ohh yeah," Carrie moaned breathily. "Mm, baby."

Doug slowed to a stop then gently pulled his fingers out.

"Good baby?" Doug said.

"Hell yeah, that was what I needed after seven friggin years."

"I thought I was the only one keeping count," Doug said.

"Yeah Doug, I like sex too, surprise surprise," Carrie said sarcastically.

"Yeah I knew you liked it, I just didn't think with me," Doug said with a joking grin.

"Shutup, if that were true I would have masturbated a lot more."

"I love sex with you, doesn't mean I don't masturbate all the time."

"I know honey, I know," Carrie said. "But tonight I'll get the job done for you."

"Yes, you will but let me do one thing first," Doug said. "Come."

"I already did babe," Carrie said with a grin.

Doug laughed and carefully got out of the tub. He dried himself off then held the towel open for Carrie. She got out and stood there as Doug dried her body.

"Hmm, I'm dry but I'm still wet," Carrie purred as Doug carried her easily into his arms and walked to the bedroom.

"I love when you talk dirty," Doug groaned throwing Carrie on the bed and crawling on top of her.

"Mm, give it to me MY big boy," Carrie purred.

'Shit, resist it Doug,' Doug thought to himself, 'Spence and Danny, Spence and Danny...okay that worked.'

"What are you waiting for Dougie?" Carrie said.

"For this," Doug said sliding down Carrie's body. He settled in between her legs with his face right in front of Carrie's center.

"Whoa," Carrie said sitting up and pushing Doug's forehead back. "What are you doing?"

"Oh come on is foreplay that rare in here?" Doug said.

"It's not that, Doug," Carrie said, "in our 30 friggin years together-that's including our two years of dating-you've never, EVER done this."

"Well that's not fair, you've gone down on me, I gotta return the favor."

"I've gone down on you a few times when we dating and only four times in our entire marriage."

"That should change," Doug said moving Carrie's hand away and leaning down. He licked all the way up Carrie's slit and groaning when he tasted her sweet juices.

After a few more long licks he started doing slow licks from the top of Carrie's slit downwards. The explicitness of Brit and Holly's lecture really helped, and he stayed in each section for quite a while before moving lower.

He was waiting for Carrie's approval when he found the spot before doing what Brit called 'speedy gonzales.'

"Right there! Oh Doug right there!" Carrie cried.

Doug hummed happily then started flicking his tongue hard and fast over the spot.

"Ahhhh shiiittt! Doug, I haven't felt this in so long, baby! You're so good! I'm gonna cu-Ahhhhhhh!"

Doug held her hips down and continued licking even though his tongue was tired. Carrie bucked and trembled and was screaming loud enough to alert the neighbors and it encouraged Doug to keep licking.

He felt her go limp for a second then felt her writhing and groaning desperately.

"Okay, okay! Doug!" Carrie cried. "Stop I'm sensitive, please!"

Doug stopped, then rolled off of her. He glanced at her just lying there with a look of pure satisfaction on her face.

"Sorry didn't mean to go too far," Doug said.

"Too far?" Carrie cried. "For Christ-sake when is the last time you made me have 2 real orgasms in one sex session?"

"I barely got 1 fake orgasm out of you," Doug said.

"Exactly."

"Honey," Doug said timidly, "as much as I'd like to mount you right now and fuck you, I'm gonna be honest I don't think I'll last 3 seconds."

"That's okay baby..."

"I'm sorry, I mean you just came in my mouth!"

"Doug," Carrie said gripping Doug's manhood.

Doug squeaked, "Yasspaa!"

"You're about to blow your load right now aren't ya?"

"Uhh," Doug groaned.

Carrie smirked and pumped his cock hard and fast. Doug groaned as Carrie started sucking on his throat.

Doug groaned long and deep as cum jet out of his cock sliding down Carrie's hand and splashing over his thighs. Carrie kissed his lips passionately as Doug struggled to catch his breath. Their tongues mingled together for a moment then they settled in together.

"Mm, baby that was amazing," Carrie said.

"And surprisingly I'm not knocked out like a giant bear," Doug said.

Carrie laughed her famous laugh, "HAH!"

"Good cause Deacon, Kelly and the hanging out at Cooper's tonight," Doug said. "We can take advantage of the time to find out what's going on between Major and Ming-Mei."

"That's a great idea," Carrie said sitting up. "I've been worried about that situation."

"Now we can deal with it with Deacon and Kelly," Doug said sitting up and stretching.

"There's another thing I wanna talk to you about," Carrie said as they both stood up and walked to their drawers.

"What?"

"This woman named Morgan came to the house today, said she was a waitress at Cooper's."

"Morgan," Doug repeated. "I don't recall any waitress named Morgan. I go there practically everyday since I turned 21 and I never met any waitress named Morgan."

"Well maybe she's new, she said she was working when you guys got shit-faced at Danny's birthday party," Carrie said.

"Uh oh did we do something stupid?"

"When do you not do something stupid?" Carrie said slipping on her jean skirt. "Anyways you guys started groping people at the bar and you groped her."

"The Morgan chick?"

"Yes."

"Oh man, I don't even remember that, was she mad?"

"No actually, she liked it and she came to tell me she wanted to steal you from me."

Doug glanced at her and burst out laughing.

"Okay, where's the cameras?"

"I'm not kidding Doug."

"Oh okay," Doug said sarcastically, "so a beautiful woman showed up here saying she wanted me?"

"I didn't say she was beautiful?" Carrie said angrily.

"Didn't have to, you wouldn't have brought her up if you didn't consider her a threat," Doug said tightening his belt and grabbing a button up shirt. "How pretty is she Carrie?"

Carrie, now fully dressed, sat in front of the mirror and grabbed a brush and her makeup bag. "She fuckin' gorgeous. Like a Victoria's Secret model."

"Okay, I don't know who this girl is but she's not a waitress at Cooper's," Doug said. "I think I would have remember a Victoria's Secret model-looking waitress."

"That doesn't help Doug!" Carrie said brushing her hair.

"Oh come on Carrie, even if this woman was adamant about stealing me from you, I would never do that," Doug said. "I love you and you're the only woman for me."

"I know baby, she just...pissed me off! She came in here promising to steal you saying all these dirty things about you," Carrie said. "I nearly kicked her ass if it wasn't cause Jason held me back on time."

"You almost went Brooklyn on her ass?" Doug said crouching down so he could look at both of them in the mirror.

Carrie's eyes widened. "Oh crap! I marked you!"

Doug looked his neck and saw a massive hickey on it. "Damn woman you got a big mouth."

"Here let me cover it," Carrie said opening her compact.

"I don't think so woman," Doug said stepping back, "I wear your suck mark with pride."

"The last part of the plan is in place," Ming-Mei said.

"This is playing with fire though Ming," Kelly said. "Carrie could murder your actress."

"That's why you're here to stop her Aunt Kelly, go black on her ass."

Kelly snorted.

"You know what to do Uncle Deacon?" Ming-Mei asked.

"Yes, everything is good to go? Your actress in place?"

"Yes," Ming-Mei said. "I convinced Manager Joe to let Morgan pose as a waitress. This is the last phase of the plan, if this doesn't save and secure my parents' marriage, nothing will."

"Alright get out of here, they should be on their way," Kelly said.

"Great," Ming-Mei said, "oh by the way, I know that kiss with Major was part of the plan, but we've actually liked each other for a long time and now we're gonna start dating seriously."

"What?" Kelly said. "When did..."

"But we'll talk about it later, bye!" Ming-Mei ran out of there before another word was uttered.

"Crap now we needa talk to Major make sure he doesn't deflower our best friends' daughter," Deacon said.

"I will whoop that boy if he does," Kelly said.

"Oo look Doug and Carrie are here, be cool!" Deacon cried.

"I am cool, are you?" Kelly said.

"Hey guys!" Doug said cheerfully.

"Hey!" Kelly and Deacon said.

"How are ya?" Carrie said as they sat down.

"Whoa! Doug that is some whooper there," Deacon said pointing at the hickey.

"Blame this one," Doug laughed thumbing towards Carrie.

Carrie flushed bright red and smacked Doug's arm. Kelly gave him a 'good job' smile then said, "let's order drinks?"

"Yeah, come on Doug let's go to the bar," Deacon said. "What do you guys want?"

"Strawberry Margarita," Kelly said.

"I'll have one of those too," Carrie said.

"Coming right up," Doug said following Deacon to the bar.

"So Jason told Major what happened today, he said you almost beat up some woman," Kelly said.

"Yes, this bitch named Morgan, shows up and says she wants Doug and wants to steal him from me."

Kelly gasped. "No fucking way."

"Can you believe it? She was like 'oh I'm class and you're trash and Doug will be mine.'"

"Bitch!"

"I would have yanked her damn hair off if Jason wouldn't have sto..." Carrie trailed off when she saw Morgan engaged in conversation with Doug.

"Carrie what's wrong?" Kelly said worriedly.

"That's her! Right there! Talking to Doug!" Carrie cried.

"What!"

Suddenly Morgan jumped on Doug like a crazy woman, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him square on the lips.

"Whoa man!" Deacon cried.

Doug shoved her off and wiped his lips angrily. "What the Hell!"

"BITCH!"

"Oh shit!" Kelly cried bolting after Carrie as she ran across the bar like a panther. She ran at Morgan like a bull and shoved her so hard she crashed and fell on a table. Kelly held her back then but Deacon had to help because Carrie was hysterical.

"Get near my man again and I'll kill you, ya hear me you homewrecking bitch!" Carrie yelled.

"Doug man, come on get her out of here, take her to the bathroom!" Deacon said handing Carrie off to him, "I'll get this one out of here before Carrie goes to jail for murder."

Doug dragged Carrie to the men's restroom that was always pretty much empty and into the stall which had a toilet with an actual lid. He sat her down on the lid, shut the stall door and blocked the exit.

"Relax Doug, I'm not gonna kill that bitch," Carrie seethed angrily.

"I take it that's Morgan?" Doug said.

Carrie stood up angrily. "In 30 years you haven't kissed any other woman but me and now..."

"Carrie she kissed me! It meant nothing!"

"You're damn right it meant nothing!" Carrie said gripping Doug's shirt and pushing him against the stall door roughly. "You are mine! You hear me!"

She kissed Doug roughly and anxiously undid his belt.

"Whoa Carrie, we're in a public restroom!"

"I know, and don't tell me that doesn't make you hard even though you've never been able to get it up more than once a day," Carrie said.

"Sometimes a week, but today is working for me," Doug said glancing down at the bulge in his jeans.

Carrie smirked and pulled her underwear off from under her skirt. Doug desperately unbuttoned his pants and let them fall to his ankles then pulled his fully erect cock out of his boxers.

"Oh yeah," Carrie moaned bending down wrapping her lips around the thick fat cock. Doug groaned as Carrie took in the whole length of it and started bobbing up and down until the whole thing was slick and wet. Then she stood up and purred into Doug's ear, "sit down on the lid so I can ride you til you pop."

Doug obeyed with a whimper and Carrie got of top of him. She grabbed his hardness and guided it to her tight hole. She slipped the tip in then sunk into it until the entire thing was inside of her.

She moaned then wrapped her hands around Doug's neck. Doug gripped her hips and started guiding her up and down as Carrie started grinding hard.

The whole situation was making it hard to hang on so Doug focused on hanging on. Carrie rode him so hard the toilet was starting to squeak.

Not knowing how much longer he could hang on he rubbed Carrie's clit with his thumb and started thinking about food. Deacon had fries on the table and he had pocketed a few to snack on while they waited for their order.

"Ohh God Doug I'm gonnaaaaa!" Doug focused on feeling the pulse, wanting to make sure it wasn't fake. The pulse felt great on his fingers, but to feel his cock being pulled and tightened by those muscles it was enough to drive him mad.

He pulled out one of the french fries to control himself and ate it.

"Where the hell did you get that?" Carrie cried.

"I stole them from Deacon's basket on the table," Doug said taking out another fry and trying to last a little longer.

He was about to eat it when Carrie ate it off his finger and said, "mm, you're right, food is much better in the bedroom. We can never have sex without a buffet."

"Oh I love you!" Doug cried carrying Carrie up as he stood up. He was still inside of her so Carrie gasped.

It was so sexy it fueled him even further. He slammed her against the stall door and started ramming into her hard and fast. Carrie was screaming in pleasure now, running her fingers through his hair and scratching down his back.

"Give me another fry baby," Carrie moaned knowing that's what set Doug off.

Doug didn't even slow down as he pulled out the last fry from his pocket and fed it to Carrie. Of course Carrie ate it and sucked off all the salt from his finger.

"Ohh shit!" Doug groaned pumping erratically as he shot his load deep into Carrie. Feeling the hot liquid shooting inside her plus the animalistic pounding of their hips and her back on the stall door was what pushed Carrie over the edge with Doug.

She trembled and contracted so hard around him he shot another load into her.

Doug and Carrie slumped against the stall then they slowly parted. Doug set Carrie down then they fixed their clothes. They walked out of the stall together then froze when they saw Deacon standing there awkwardly washing his hands.

Carrie flushed bright red then rushed out of the bathroom and Doug followed her bashfully. Deacon grinned at him and muttered, "play on playah."

"How long do you think he was standing there?" Carrie said as they walked towards the back door in embarrassment.

"He definitely heard," Doug said.

"Hey," Carrie said pointing out the window, "why is that bitch Morgan talking to Ming?"

"To Ming-Mei? Our daughter?" Doug said looking out the window and seeing Ming-Mei and Morgan laughing together.

"What is she telling her!" Carrie cried rushing out the door.

Doug went after her and stopped her before she attacked. "Shh, Carrie wait..."

"So the plan worked?" Ming-Mei said.

Carrie and Doug froze and listened carefully.

"Yeah, your mom totally believed I was after your dad," Morgan said.

"Did she hurt you too bad?"

"I'm a professional actress who gets paid to get spouses jealous and test husband fidelity," Morgan said, "trust me I'm always prepared to get punched in the face."

Carrie relaxed in Doug's grip and looked at Doug in disbelief.

"This plan really worked out, I didn't think everyone would help out," Ming-Mei said. "With Major agreeing to kiss me for the first time in front of everyone, and Jason taking you to our house, and Kirby taking my dad to the gym to help him build stamina, and Uncle Deacon, Aunt Kelly, Aunt Holly, and Aunt Brit giving my dad sexual advice that I really do not need to know about. I mean my plan couldn't have gone better."

"You did good kid," Morgan said, "but maybe it wasn't as necessary as you think, you were all scared they were losing the spark in their marriage and were gonna end up divorced that's why you did all this to try to save them, but maybe they had their spark all along."

"Then why don't they show it?" Ming-Mei said. "All my aunts and uncles are always holding hands, kissing, hugging, and all my parents do is insult each other and ignore each other."

"You don't know what they do in private," Morgan said.

Carrie stormed towards them in anger and shouted, "of course you don't!"

Ming-Mei jumped and Morgan squeaked and ran away towards the parking lot. "Mom, I..."

"Save it Ming!" Carrie snapped angrily.

The backdoor opened and Doug saw Kelly and Deacon peak out.

"You thought our marriage was in trouble, I understand, maybe we did lose our spark and this little stunt brought it back," Carrie said, "but to hire an actress to get me jealous? To prove what? That I love your father? You didn't even think I loved him?"

"It's not that mom," Ming-Mei said, "I just wanted you to show that you love him, I never doub..."

"Do you even know how insulting that is?" Carrie snapped, "am I that cold and heartless that no one can see how much I love this man?"

"Mom, I'm sorry."

"Whatever," Carrie said dejectedly, "I'm so disappointed in you."

She stormed away angrily and Ming-Mei cried out, "mom!"

"Hey it's okay princess," Doug said hugging her, "I'll talk to her."

"I didn't wanna hurt anyone daddy."

"I know, I know."

When Doug got home he found Carrie lying down on their bed crying softly. He shut the door behind him and set her purse down on the dresser.

"I brought your purse from Cooper's," Doug said.

"Thanks," Carrie said with a sniffle.

Doug spooned up behind Carrie and snuggled her close.

Carrie kissed Doug's forearm and said, "you know I love you right? You didn't need to see me nearly tearing some bimbo's hair out to know that right?"

"Of course I know that," Doug said. "You know Ming-Mei didn't mean to hurt you right?"

"I know she had good intentions Doug, but the point is she felt the need to do this because she thinks I'm cold and unloving."

"She doesn't!" Doug said turning Carrie onto her back, "she was just desperate to re ignite our spark."

"Doug..."

"No Carrie, stop with this, you should focus on the fact that all of our friends agreed to meddle in our marriage because they love us!"

Carrie snorted.

"There's that smile."

"Oh Doug," Carrie said hugging him. "Did we really lose our spark?"

"We hadn't had sex in seven years Carrie," Doug said.

"Okay, okay so maybe this thing saved our marriage before we even realized we had a problem," Carrie said.

"Yeah it would have been awkward to find out we lost our spark after retirement where we move in to that two bedroom Manhattan apartment overlooking the skyline that I just finished paying off."

Carrie sat up in surprise. "What!"

Doug grinned and said, "ever since you told me that story about your Manhattan dream I've felt so bad. I felt like I was depriving you from your biggest dream..."

"Doug you we..."

"Let me finish," Doug said. "I felt guilty and I didn't wanna live in fear that someday after our kids were grown you'd leave old, fat-ass me and move to your Manhattan dream apartment.

"So I picked out a Manhattan condo that's like a penthouse to buy and I started paying monthly payments on it from extra sales commission I didn't tell you about. I finished paying the last payment last week. I wanted to take you next week to go see it.

"When we're ready to retire, one of the kids can live in this already paid for family home and we can move to you dream home."

Carrie's eyes watered up as she wrapped her arms around Doug's neck and kissed him so hard he nearly fell over.

Doug didn't get frantic as Carrie sexily slipped her tongue into his mouth and swirled their tongues together. Doug groaned and gently laid Carrie down on the bed as he got on top of her.

Carrie gasped as she felt Doug's hardness pressing against her thigh.

"Okay, did you have viagra today?"

"We haven't had sex in seven years," Doug said, "this is a one time deal."

"Then I'll take advantage of it," Carrie said slipping her hand in between them and yanking off Doug's belt.

"Slow down babe, I fucked you enough, I wanna make love to you now," Doug said.

"Those are the best orgasms," Carrie said with a grin.

Doug finished unbuckling his belt, then unbuttoned his jeans, and pushed them down along with his boxers. His erection popped out ready to go.

"Damn babe, you're having a good day," Carrie said lifting her skirt and spreading her legs.

"So are you, how many orgasms did you have today?"

Carrie laughed. "Let's add one more to the count shall we?"

"You got it babe," Doug said settling in between Carrie's legs. He put his hands on either side of Carrie's head then said, "why don't you guide it in?"

Carrie smirked and gripped his manhood. She guided her into him then hissed when he penetrated her.

Doug started at a slow place, making sure he pushed his entire length into her every time. Carried moaned and ran her hands under his shirt, up his back.

Doug picked up the pace little by little making sure to hit all the spots Brit and Holly had so thoroughly described.

"Ohh Doug, yes!" Carrie cried arching up.

Doug kept his pace going without speeding up. It was the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life. He was grunting deeply and focusing hard.

"Oh God Doug, a little more, I'm almost there," Carrie moaned seeing the strain on Doug's face.

To refocus, Doug kissed Carrie's lips and focused on swirling their tongues together.

Doug felt Carrie trembling before she broke the kiss and cried out her orgasm. Carrie's eyes rolled back as her thin body convulsed under Doug.

Doug groaned and released into her before rolling off with a heavy sigh. They both lay there catching their breaths and basking in the afterglow.

"Doug, I love you."

"I love you too Care," Doug said, "and I'm gonna make damn sure we never lose our spark again."

"And if it happens," Carrie said, "I'm sure our family will get us back on track again."

**Leave reviews, just so I know there's still King of Queens fans out there :)**


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